


Thieves and Thebes

by MeyerMansi



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Heist, Hurt/Comfort, Hurting Peter, Knives, M/M, artificial danger, takes place some vague point in s3, this is entirely self-indulgent, would you believe that "Robin Thebes" was genuinely an accidental pun, y'know what's even more fun than hurting juno?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 04:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18403196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeyerMansi/pseuds/MeyerMansi
Summary: “You need me to what?” Buddy takes over.“It’s very simple. This is an all-hands-on-deck robbery situation, so we can’t afford to have one of our best thieves playing pretty boy this time. Besides, you’ve proven yourself to be perfectly competent at creating a distraction.”“Usually the distraction involves punching people, Buddy.” She smiles at him.“Be creative, darling, I have faith in you.”Things go awry when Juno goes undercover. Peter's new persona stresses them both out. Rita is great at eye makeup





	Thieves and Thebes

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been sitting in my drafts since probably about the time I posted drunker by the second, but I didn't have a chance to edit it until now. Enjoy this weird sandwich of Peter and Juno being in love and Juno hating rich people with a side of backstory angst!

In the short time they’ve been together, Juno, Nureyev, Siquilak, Rita, Vespa and Buddy have established an easy rhythm.  They work well together, and they all have their specialties. Rita hacks into database after database, pulling up schematics and blackmail to make their mission a success. Jet finds points of entry, and he and Buddy formulate the plan while Vespa runs scenarios. Peter is Peter, and one of his identities charms his way in without so much as a tripped alarm. And Juno...

Juno’s usually the bait. 

He’s good at it, too. He’s practically made a career of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. So, when Buddy waltzes into the ship’s common room and throws schematics labeled “Thebes Corp. Heist” at each of them, Juno is already thinking up sarcastic things to say to security thugs. Gotta keep the ol’ Juno Steel branding sharp, after all. 

 

He’s halfway through a really good one about the theoretical guard’s theoretical mom when Jet speaks up.

“Juno, we’re going to need you to go in undercover. As a member of the outer rim elite.” He sits up so fast he smacks his face into Peter’s hand, which had been idly carding through Juno’s hair. 

“You need me to  _ what _ ?” Buddy takes over. 

“It’s very simple. This is an all-hands-on-deck robbery situation, so we can’t afford to have one of our best thieves playing pretty boy this time. Besides, you’ve proven yourself to be perfectly competent at creating a distraction.”

“Usually the distraction involves punching people, Buddy.” She smiles at him.

“Be creative, darling, I have faith in you.” Rita is practically vibrating with excitement. 

“Mistah Steel, will you let me do your makeup? Huh? Huh?” Juno lets out a long sigh.

 

The eyeshadow Rita gave him looks pretty badass, actually. Unfortunately, very little else in this situation feels badass at all. 

 

He’s sitting in a large room lined floor to ceiling with couches and fluffy cushions. A lavish array of delicacies sprawls over a long, low table in the center of the room, where several servants stand so straight that it cannot possibly be comfortable. Juno has spent the afternoon chatting awkwardly and trying to figure out how the hell you lounge on a futon in a skirt (he’s wearing pants under, this is a heist after all). He also intermittently shoves appetizers into his pockets when nobody is looking. His friends are seriously rubbing off on him. 

 

He’s sitting with the company’s CEO, Robin Thebes, and several of her friends and advisors. Juno has learned over the course of an hour or so that Robin is very pretty, very smart, and very paranoid. But she seems to like Juno--or rather, she seems to like Belle Blackrock, youngest son of wealthy Martian crime boss Baner Blackrock. She looks up now from a conversation with her nearest companion, regarding Juno with calculating green eyes.

“What do you think of that, dearest Belle?” 

“Uh, well, I thought it was very…” he searches for an appropriately snotty word “...quaint?” Robin giggles, apparently satisfied with his answer. 

“Tell me more about Mars, would you?” She leans forward, batting her eyelashes. “I’m so  _ utterly fascinated  _ by how things are run outside of Vayu.” Juno tries to channel the spoiled mobster princess he’s pretending to be. 

“It’s fine, I suppose. Nothing really very interesting happens there. Just dust and radiation and more dust. Boring, really.” He pouts. “But that’s why my father sent me to get us started on Vayu. Expand the family business a little, you know.”

“Naturally” Juno crosses his legs and leans forward.

“It’s all so exciting, something different! Thebes Corp. has had a hand in shaping this planet so wonderfully, I imagine?” Vayu is run by a sickeningly cruel handful of people, and Robin Thebes is one of them.

“But of course,” Robin smiles at him from under her eyelashes. “Give me one moment, dove, I just want to check the cameras for a moment.” He doesn’t have time to cringe at the pet name because she’s reaching for a control panel next to her. Juno wasn’t kidding about paranoid. He’s also not sure if Rita has had time to hack that set of cameras yet, so he speaks up quickly.

“Robiiiiiin,” he makes it a whine. “Stop checking the cameras, you’re no fun! It’s awful to treat a friend this way!” he sinks back into the couch, practically throwing one leg in the air.  _ Cecil Kanagawa. My god, I’m pretending to be Cecil Kanagawa.  _ He wants to die. Thebes frowns.

“My apologies, Belle, it  _ is  _ just terribly rude of me, isn’t it? Do forgive me.” Her hand slips from the panel. “I only fear for my company, that’s all.” Juno flips so he’s on his stomach, chin in hands.

“You’re forgiven. Buuut...If you trust your staff so little, maybe you should hire new people, hmm?” He fixes a smirk on each of the other people in the room, who all exchange uncomfortable glances. “I know some people that would love to help you out, Robin.” Her reply is cut off by a crackle in Juno’s ear.

“What--”

“Jet, did you manage to get--”

“We ran into some complications,” Nureyev’s voice. “Juno?”

Juno subtly clicks at his own mic, “Yes?” He projects it towards Robin, who smiles. 

“I do hope you’ll trust me on this one.” Juno doesn’t get a chance to respond--to figure out a way to let Peter know that  _ of course  _ he’ll trust him, always--all in a manner that won’t alert Thebes and her cronies. Because, at that exact moment, Peter Nureyev comes crashing through the synth-wood door.

 

Emery Moss isn’t like most of Nureyev’s aliases. He’s rough around the edges, with a thick Brahmese accent and stolen clothes all the wrong sizes. His hair is unstyled, falling into his face, and he has a look in his eye like a cornered animal about to make its last, desperate move. He has none of Peter’s elegance or finesse, and the unusual lack of refinement is made evident from the moment the splinters settle.

Moss dashes across the room, completely ignorant of the startled screams. Then, in one fluid motion, he pulls Juno up against the wall and places a switchblade at his throat.

“Nobody move or the lady gets it.” 

It’s such a stereotypical line that Juno almost snorts, only his head is swirling with confusion and slight terror, preventing him from making more than a startled squeak. 

 

There’s a reason Peter’s disguises are so successful. A pair of glasses or a new suit can turn him into an entirely different person, simply because Peter commits to a part like no one else. Juno has seen this man at near every layer of vulnerability--laughing, crying, waking up with artificial sun slanting across his face and a satisfied smile on his lips--and yet even Juno has trouble recognizing him. 

 

Still, the fear can’t cling for long. The blade is being held just barely against his throat at an angle that would make cutting down entirely inconvenient at best and impossible at worst. The man holding the knife is undoubtedly Peter Nureyev, and Juno trusts him enough to assume that this isn’t some weird, half-baked revenge plot. So, he hams it up a little.

“Robin!” he shrieks, flailing a little. “Do something!” The woman looks stunned. Despite all her paranoia, it seems she’s never actually considered past this scenario. Emery Moss gives a crooked smile. 

“Let’s chat, shall we?” Juno pretends to swallow nervously.

“Sure, sure, let’s talk.” 

“Good.” Moss scans the room quickly, eyes landing on Thebes. “You.”

“Me?” she all but snarls back. 

“What’s the best way to get out of here?”

“And why would she tell you th--ah!” Nureyev pretends to push the blade into his neck, and Juno acts accordingly. He sees Peter’s eyes flit down with concern for half a second, and then back up so quickly that no one other than Juno would have even glimpsed it. “M-maybe you should tell him, Robin.” They both watch her run through calculations, finally deciding something in her head. 

“Down the hall and to the left. There’s a flight of stairs that lead directly out.” Emery tuts next to Juno’s ear.

“See, that would have been very helpful, Miss Thebes, if not for the fact that the way is littered so thick with guards that a  _ grasshopper  _ couldn’t make his way in and out.” he turns, directing his next question more at Juno than at Robin Thebes. “Do you people think I’m an idiot?” Juno’s not a master of aliases yet, but he’s reinvented himself enough times that he has a decent pool to work with. Bell Blackrock has all the snark of Juno Steel, Private Eye, and all the stupidity of Juno Steel, HCPD. So, he gives Emery a scathing glare. 

“Well, you can’t be the smartest, barging in here. The guards will come soon.” He gives another fake gasp as Nureyev presses the blade against the column of his throat. It nearly breaks skin, but Peter’s wrist tenses, and it stops just short.

“Oh, I don’t think we’ll be having any trouble from the guards for a while yet.” Emery’s grin is wicked, and Juno believes him without a doubt. He turns back to Thebes, gesturing with one hand and using the other to press the blade in a manner that seems nearly haphazard, despite the fact that Nureyev’s grip is as practiced and careful as a violinist at their bow. “Do you think I won’t kill him if you lie to me? There’s plenty of people that would love to see Belle Blackrock dead, myself included. But…” He points to Thebes. “If you tell me how to get out of here, we can avoid ruining this nice carpet with all his blood, hmm?” Honestly, Robin looks more concerned by the possibility of damaged property than by Belle’s actual death. One of the advisors speaks up for the first time.

“Miss Thebes, the Blackrock family is a powerful ally. If we were responsible for their son’s death, the results would be disastrous.”

“I know how to cover a death up, Laertes!” Thebes snaps. She looks up, apparently processing the words that have just come out of her mouth. “But there’s no need, of course--Belle, dearest, I won’t let him harm you!” Juno barely suppresses an eyeroll. Robin takes a deep breath and glares at Emery. “Just the opposite of what I told you. First hall to the right, up a flight of stairs and out the ladder at the second-story window. That’s the quickest way out.” Emery regards her. Then, he pulls Juno off the wall and spins him around so that he’s between the two, knife still hovering at his throat. 

“Excellent. Now, Mr. Blackrock and I are going to go down that route together. Assuming you’ve told me the truth, I will send him back here in one piece as soon as I have secured my escape. If you’ve lied, that will not be the case. And, if any of you so much as try to move out of this room until he comes back, it’s the same deal. Understood?” Everyone nods. “Good. I would wish you the best, but that would be laughable. Come along, Mr. Blackrock.” He jerks Juno roughly through the door. The last thing Juno sees of Robin Thebes is a pair of cold green eyes, filled with distaste and...guilt? Then the door swings shut, and Juno is alone with Emery Moss in the hallway. 

 

Peter Nureyev pulls the knife away from Juno’s throat immediately, swearing softly. He gives Juno a once over and then gingerly grabs his hand.

“Let’s go.” Juno nods quickly, and they break into a light sprint. Peter tugs him past the first hallway and into the second, reaching the first door and heading down.

“This isn’t the way Robin told us to go.” Nureyev glances back over his shoulder.

“Hmm? Oh, yes, well Miss Thebes lied, that way is booby-trapped to Mars and back.”

“Wow, she would’ve just let Blackrock die, huh?” He’s not surprised in the least.

“It appears so.” They reach a door--They’re in some sort of wine cellar, it seems--and Peter kicks it open, letting harsh rays of sun spill into their eyes. “Luckily, I didn’t need her for directions, I just needed to get you out.” Peter is speaking quickly, distractedly, and he tugs more insistently on Juno’s hand. “We’re almost to the car, quickly now.”

Their feet pound across the hot, rocky terrain, and they all but launch themselves into the Ruby 7. Jet is waiting in the driver's seat, and Nureyev doesn’t even stop to contest this. He just half-lifts Juno into the car--much to Juno’s annoyance--and makes the universal symbol for “floor it”. Then, he sinks back into the seat and closes his eyes for a long while. Juno follows suit, letting his heartbeat slow as the sun warms his face.

 

It’s not until they’re back on the ship that Juno even processes that something’s wrong.

 

He’s sitting in Nureyev’s room, having volunteered himself for the incredibly time-consuming task of sorting through the pockets of Emery Moss’s jacket. He finds everything from stolen jewelry to  _ three  _ decks of loose playing cards. He leaves his own coat in the kitchen, letting Rita sort through the assorted baked goods he’d pawned off of those snobs. 

 

Peter is standing in front of his wardrobe, having tossed Juno Emery’s ragged coat. He wipes his face almost frantically, restyling his hair and putting in his regular piercings with a haste that Juno’s never seen. He walks slowly to the bed and sits down. Juno looks up from his task but gets no response. They sit in silence for a moment. Juno can tell Peter wants to say something but is stopping himself, bare feet kicking idly at the bed frame.

“Juno?”

“Mm?”

“You know the knifepoint situation was a last minute plan, right?” Juno raises an eyebrow.

“Uh, yeah, Nureyev, I know. You kept it about a mile away from my throat anyway, s’not like it was a big deal.” Peter shifts, long fingers wrapping tightly into the comforter.

“Alright, that’s...good. I’m sorry I had to do it at all,” Juno shrugs.

“I’m pretty sure you’ve pointed a knife at me before. Like I said, it’s not a big deal. We’re both fine.” Or rather,  _ Juno’s  _ fine; Nureyev is starting to look...not fine.

“No, not like that, Juno. I’ve never been in danger of hurting you before, not since--”

_ Not since I stole a mask and a kiss _ , but they’re well past that now. Peter’s saved his ass enough times since to more than make up for it, and Juno’s honestly not sure why this time is any different. They’ve worked their shit out, right? Nureyev is talking now, soft and slow but getting faster and louder with each passing moment.”--we ran into some complications extracting the thing and I knew I had to get you out of there. But if I just stabbed Thebes it would cause a whole mess and--” So they haven’t quite worked  _ all  _ their shit out. 

“Woah, woah, Nureyev--” he doesn’t so much as stop for breath. “ _ Peter.”  _ Juno grabs his shoulder gently and he stops mid-word. Juno sees Peter, really sees him, then. His face is uncharacteristically open, and he looks  _ terrified.  _ Then, 

“Juno, I’m sorry.” and he buries his head in his hands. Okay. Okay. Juno tries not to panic. 

“Peter, it’s alright, you don’t have anything to apologize for. You didn’t even hurt me! Peter?” Peter takes a shaky breath and draws his hands away, just barely managing eye contact, and when he does, everything clicks for Juno.

Brahma. Mag with the owl eyes.  _ Drawing a knife on family _ . 

Juno feels a little stupid, honestly. Peter’s generally so nonchalant about blood and weaponry around enemies. But Juno’s not the enemy, not now (and perhaps he never was, really). He wonders if Peter was shaken by the unusual disguise, but Emery isn’t really so different from Peter’s other personas. Juno’s spent so long peeling back masks to get to Peter Nureyev that he hasn’t even thought about tackling the artificial aspects of Peter himself, the fake bravado or flirtation that everyone assumes, honest person or no. But he thinks he could find Emery if he dug deep, find some approximation of a scared and angry revolutionary trembling with a knife in his hand.

“Oh,” he says softly, and Peter nods. He looks like he’s about to start apologizing again, and Juno still isn’t quite emotionally equipped for that, so he does the first thing that comes to mind, and throws his arms around the other, burying his face in Peter’s collarbone. Peter makes a quiet, confused noise, but he returns the hug, and for a moment, they just sit there. 

 

Juno gets it. He just wishes he knew how to make it go away, for both of them. But he can’t, so instead, he lifts his face up and gently takes Peter’s hand. Then, he puts it against his throat at the spot where Peter held the knife. Peter almost flinches away, but Juno keeps his grip firm.

“Peter,”

“Yes, Juno?” 

“You don’t feel any cuts, right?” Peter shakes his head. “Any scratches?” Another no. Juno moves Peter’s hand so he can see. “No bruises, either. I’m  _ okay _ , Nureyev.” Peter nods. “I’ll make sure we don’t have to do it again, but it worked just fine.”

“Alright.” He still looks miserable, but the panic is leaving his eyes. Juno places his thumb against Peter’s cheekbone, moving it in small, comforting circles. 

“Now, are  _ you  _ okay?”

“I will be, yes.” They stay like that for a while, letting the ship’s artificial light dim around them. 

“You know,” Juno says after a while. “Trauma aside, I think a similar technique might work out really well for us since you spend so much time infiltrating the enemy.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, like...I bust in pretending to try and take you hostage, and then while they’re all freaking out about it we can team up and take them out.” Peter smiles a little at the image of Juno busting down the door, screaming hysterically. 

“We’ll have to bring it up with Buddy.”

“She’s not in charge of us.” Peter gives him a look. “Okay, maybe she is. A little bit.” He starts to laugh, so Juno leans up and presses his lips to Peter’s for a long moment. “You good now?” As good as they’ll ever be, he doesn’t add. Peter nods quickly. 

“Yes, I’m fine now. It was quite silly of me.” Juno cuts him off quickly.

“No, not silly, Nureyev. Don’t get all dismissive, that’s my job. We’re all bound to get like that sometimes, it just comes with the territory. No space pirates come from happy, well-adjusted backgrounds.”

“I suppose that’s true.” 

“But we’re here for each other, okay? It took me forever to realize that, but if it can get through my thick skull, it can get through yours, too.” He raps his knuckles gently against Peter’s head.

“Rude.” He’s smiling in spite of it. “I understand, Juno. Thank you.” He gives him a quick kiss to the temple.

“You’re welcome.” The ship darkens around them, and the neon guides begin to come on. It’s almost like being back in Hyperion City. Still, Juno decides, as Peter sighs sleepily, arms still around him, there’s nowhere else in the galaxy that he’d rather be. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave a comment and kudos if you did <3


End file.
